I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis
Books! I dunno if I ever told you this,
but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono
In all of his bestsellers, the Divine has told the truth,
custom-tailored to the comprehension of the times.
- Ernest Holmes
All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitman
Truth is something which can't be told in a few words.
Those who simplify the universe
only reduce the expansion of its meaning.
- Anais Nin
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere
Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone -
but paradoxically, if we cannot trust,
neither can we find love or joy.
- Walter Anderson
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
Hell is living with someone who complains, whines, and argues.
- Anonymous
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.
- Albert Schweitzer
To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu
A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South
A hero is someone who has given his life to
something bigger than himself
or something other than himself.
- Joseph Campbell
There comes that mysterious meeting in life
when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be,
igniting the circuits of our highest potential.
- Rusty Berkus
Faith is much better than belief.
Belief is when someone else does the thinking.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
You don't marry someone you can live with,
you marry the person who you cannot live without.
- Anonymous
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon
Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free
and realizing you were the prisoner!
- Max Lucado
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane
Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen
Your time is limited,
so don't waste it living someone else's life.
- Steve Jobs
A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden
Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada
Forgiving is not a gift to someone else.
Forgiving is your gift to yourself -
a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.