Funny Quotes about Magnitude

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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