
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe,
that lures him to evil ways.
- The Buddha
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.