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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Lifetime

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb

True wisdom cannot be learned in a lifetime,
but can be revealed in a moment,
for it has always lived within each and every one of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals

It's not in the DOing, it's in the BEing.
Whatever you do or don't do in your lifetime,
your greatest contribution
to current and future generations
will be the happiness and joy
you generated and radiated to those around you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain

The secret of merging with Spirit
and recognizing the oneness of the whole Universe
cannot be learned in a lifetime, but can be revealed in a moment,
for it has always lived within each and every one of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do or don't do in your lifetime,
your best contribution to those around you
and to future generations
will be in the happiness and joy
you generated and radiated to those around you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Regrets and their cousins, resentments,
are a huge cause of self-inflicted suffering.
Sometimes it takes years of psychotherapy
to gain freedom from regrets about what you did or did not do,
and freedom from resentment over what others did or did not do.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of self-talk to remember
to put the past in the past where it belongs.
However, sometimes a simple symbolic act can help immeasurably
to grant ourselves freedom from the past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never lose a holy curiosity.
- Albert Einstein

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono

What difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought
under the name of totalitarianism
or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I offer gentle understanding to myself.
I position myself in love, not fear.
I look behind me with forgiveness.
I look forward with festive anticipation.
I embrace this holy moment and assert,
"Now. This moment is the moment to love,
the moment to serve, the moment to seize
the legacy instead of the small.
Now. Now I will live large, love boldly,
reach to the edges of my unfurled heart and fully enrolled hope.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Through Qigong, one learns to quiet the mind
and allow communion with the One.
We call the One "Tao," but you may be more comfortable
with a term like "Holy Spirit," or "God,"
as long as you don't start visualizing
an old man on a throne floating in the sky.
The One is everything, and everything is the One.
Each of us is the One, and the One is inside each of us.
Just remember that it's an infinity thing -
the tiniest bit of infinity is still infinite.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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