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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Lair

To love. To be loved.
To never forget your own insignificance.
To never get used to the unspeakable violence
and the vulgar disparity of life around you.
To seek joy in the saddest places.
To pursue beauty to its lair.
To never simplify what is complicated
or complicate what is simple.
To respect strength, never power.
Above all, to watch. To try to understand.
To never look away. And never, never, to forget.
- Arundhati Roy

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Where There is Love,
Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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