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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Kick

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

If your home is not a place where you can truly
kick-back and be yourself - both physically and emotionally -
consider making some changes in your way-of-life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

Little do men perceive what solitude is,
and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company,
and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus

Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day

A nation or civilization that
continues to produce soft-minded men
purchases its own spiritual death
on the installment plan.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Good men must not obey the laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Every creature is better alive than dead,
men and moose and pine trees,
and he who understands it aright
will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
- Henry David Thoreau

The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Men are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu

We the people are the rightful masters
of both Congress and the courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution
but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
- Abraham Lincoln

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday

Men are what their mothers made them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings,
so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
- Socrates

The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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