Funny Quotes about Jaundiced

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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