Absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
but it sure heats up the blood.
- Elizabeth Ashley
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
When the water starts boiling
it is foolish to turn off the heat.
- Nelson Mandela
The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.