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Funny Quotes about Governing

Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu

There is an orderliness in the universe,
there is an unalterable law governing everything
and every being that exists or lives.
It is no blind law; for no blind law can govern
the conduct of living beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have no fear that the result of our experiment
will be that men may be trusted to
govern themselves without a master.
- Thomas Jefferson

No man is good enough to govern another man
without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln

Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
- Henry Peter Brougham

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.
Do not overdo it.
- Lao Tzu

That government is best which governs the least,
because its people discipline themselves.
- Thomas Jefferson

I will not be governed by the tyranny of immediacy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The consent of the governed is not consent if it is not informed.
- Edward Snowden

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

In all things and in all ways,
choice impacts virtually every element of our life.
It bears repeating that even those things
which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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