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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Freak

I'm not going to change the way I look
or the way I feel to conform to anything.
I've always been a freak.
So I've been a freak all my life
and I have to live with that, you know.
I'm one of those people.
- John Lennon

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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