Funny Quotes about Feeding

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The cleansing fire of Spirit
consumes the troubles of this world.
Feed your concerns to the fire.
Breathe deeply and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mind is repetitive, mind always moves in circles.
Mind is a mechanism: you feed it with knowledge,
it repeats the same knowledge,
it goes on chewing the same knowledge again and again.
No-mind is clarity, purity, innocence.
No-mind is the real way to live,
the real way to know, the real way to be.
- Osho

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile,
hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston Churchill

O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
- William Shakespeare

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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