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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Excluding

Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures
from the shelter of compassion and pity,
you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love

To be admitted to Nature's hearth costs nothing.
None is excluded, but excludes himself.
You have only to push aside the curtain.
- Henry David Thoreau

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane

We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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