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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Exception

It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates

We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham

Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke

Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing

We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor

Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson

Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Henry David Thoreau

True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks
for everything that happens to you,
knowing that every step forward is a step toward
achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.
- Brian Tracy

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra

The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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