Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Except

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham

You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon

Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie

We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill

You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim

Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

Doing well is the result of doing good.
That's what capitalism is all about.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.