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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Ever

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives
is to think we work for anybody but ourselves.
- Brian Tracy

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
- Thomas Jefferson

Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Books! I dunno if I ever told you this,
but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono

In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most...
I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it.
- William J. Clinton

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No government ought to be without censors;
and where the press is free no one ever will.
- Thomas Jefferson

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Have you ever hugged a tree?
Hug a tree, and one day you will come to know
that it is not only that
you have hugged the tree
but that the tree also responds,
the tree also hugs you.
- Osho

There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
committed people can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead

The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have,
you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey

If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right;
a single experiment can prove me wrong.
- Albert Einstein

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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