Funny Quotes about Eliminate

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard

Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu

Only good comes from being honest and true.
Only harm and suffering come from falsehood.
It doesn't always feel as if good comes from truth and honesty,
but, in the long run, it does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Experience hath shown, that even
under the best forms of government,
those entrusted with power have,
in time, and by slow operations,
perverted it into tyranny.
- Thomas Jefferson

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Read the best books first,
or you may not have a chance to read them at all.
- Henry David Thoreau

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Eliminate

Funny Quotes