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Funny Quotes about Egomania

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

The world is more malleable than you think
and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono

The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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