Funny Quotes about Earnest

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Merely to avoid harming others is not enough.
Earn your place in this world by doing good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In today's knowledge-based economy,
what you earn depends on what you learn.
- William J. Clinton

A working definition of Honor is,
"respect or esteem that has been earned."
Contemplate that for a moment.
It would be very special to earn the respect and esteem
of our family, our friends, our co-workers, our community, wouldn't it?
If anything, it is of even more moment to honor yourself.
Those who are successful and happy earn their own
self-respect and self-esteem.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley

Humility must always be the portion of any man
who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers
and the sacrifices of his friends.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A wise and frugal government,
which shall leave men free to regulate
their own pursuits of industry and improvement,
and shall not take from the mouth
of labor and the bread it has earned -
this is the sum of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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