Funny Quotes about Diverged

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

There are two kinds of stones,
as everyone knows,
one of which rolls.
- Amelia Earhart

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

The career of a sage is of two kinds:
He is either honored by all in the world,
Like a flower waving its head,
Or else he disappears into the silent forest.
- Lao Tzu

We have two ears and one mouth so that
we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Falling in love and having a relationship
are two different things.
- Keanu Reeves

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell

At the beginning and at the end of love,
the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.
- Jean de la Bruyere

Unity can only be manifested by the Binary.
Unity itself and the idea of Unity are already two.
- The Buddha

You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn

It takes two to speak the truth:
one to speak, and another to hear.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- old proverb often attributed to David Lloyd George

To live a satisfying life requires two steps...
1. Plan your life goals.
2. Act on your plan - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa,
there are also roads that lead to their goal.
Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.
- Nelson Mandela

There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want,
and after that to to enjoy it.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

This is the answer to all questions about relationship.
When two people sing their lives in harmony,
their lives are grand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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