Funny Quotes about Discord

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

There are three types of lies -
lies, damn lies, and statistics.
- Benjamin Disraeli

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

There are three rules for dating:
1) Don't;
2) If you must, just be careful;
3) Forget the rules, your hormones will win anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

Never forget the three powerful resources
you always have available to you:
love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

He is a drunkard who takes more than
three glasses though he be not drunk.
- Epictetus

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do,
something to love,
and something to hope for.
- Joseph Addison

A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
- Lao Tzu

Voting is an expression of three key life principles -
CHOICE, INTENT, and ACTION.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha

There are three classes of people:
those who see,
those who see when they are shown,
those who do not see.
- Leonardo da Vinci

All Knowledge is Divided into Three Domains:
"What We Know",
"What We Know That We Don't Know", and
"What We Don't Know That We Don't Know."
- Werner Erhard

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
- Corinthians 13:13

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

AUM, the most primordial human sound -
and the sound most connected to Spirit,
is pronounced in these three parts:
A (as in mama) - a throat sound
that vibrates in the abdomen - signifies waking.
U (as in who) - a tongue sound
that vibrates in the chest - signifies dreaming.
M (as in mama) - a lip sound
that vibrates in the head - signifies sleeping.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Steve Jobs' Three Rules of Life ...
1. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
2. Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
3. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition -
they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Discord

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