Funny Quotes about Dirt

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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