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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Dealt

Life is like a game of cards.
The hand you are dealt is determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz PHOTO

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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