Funny Quotes about Cravings

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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