Funny Quotes about Contradicted

The new rage is to say that the government
is the cause of all our problems,
and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems.
I can tell you, that contradicts
evidence, history, and common sense.
- William J. Clinton

A contradiction can not exist in reality.
Not in part, nor in whole.
- Terry Goodkind

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Contradicted

Funny Quotes