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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Contacts

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Inspiration is God making contact with itself.
- Ram Dass

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes

Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious,
one should preserve it.
- Anais Nin

The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something,
some reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we?
If this is a chance to find out
even just a little part of that answer...
I don't know, I think it's worth a human life. Don't you?
- the Jodie Foster movie Contact (1997)

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield

Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates

You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We are strange beings, we seem
to go free, but we go in chains -
chains of training, custom, convention,
association, environment -
in a word, Circumstance -
and against these bonds
the strongest of us struggle in vain.
- Mark Twain

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin

If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

What you seem to be, be really.
- Benjamin Franklin

Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi

People do not seem to realize that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you,
but it is most important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Things are seldom what they seem.
- William S. Gilbert (Gilbert and Sullivan: HMS Pinafore)

Be as you wish to seem.
- Socrates

People seem not to see that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill

In all things and in all ways,
choice impacts virtually every element of our life.
It bears repeating that even those things
which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Living the Unconcerned Life is living
a life without anxiety or worry -
especially in those situations where anxiety and worry
would seem to be expected and "natural."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous

It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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