Funny Quotes about Conduce

If you paint in your mind a picture of
bright and happy expectations,
you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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