Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Comparable

No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth,
and no culture comparable to that of the garden.
- Thomas Jefferson

Women must pay for everything.
They do get more glory than men for comparable feats,
but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.
- Amelia Earhart

Be simply yourself and don't compare or compete.
- Lao Tzu

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.
- Lao Tzu

Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller

What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To know the whole world is nothing
when it is compared to knowing your own inner mystery of life.
- Osho

Let everyone try and find that
as a result of daily prayer
he adds something new to his life,
something with which nothing can be compared.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard,"
I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?
- Sydney Harris

Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Humans are essentially storytellers.
- Walter Fisher

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most of the fundamental ideas of science
are essentially simple,
and may, as a rule, be expressed
in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

After all, science is essentially international,
and it is only through lack of the historical sense
that national qualities have been attributed to it.
- Marie Curie

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.