Funny Quotes about Chocolates

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Get up-close-and-personal:
Life looks different when you really get involved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

You don't love someone for their looks,
or their clothes, or for their fancy car,
but because they sing a song only you can hear.
- Anonymous

Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung

The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu

When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil
and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

He who experiences the unity of life
sees his own Self in all beings,
and all beings in his own Self,
and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
- The Buddha

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous

We see what we ASSUME we will see.
If you believe the world is evil, you will see evil.
If you believe the world is good, you will see good.
To change how life looks, change how you see life -
change your expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers,
but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings.
The curriculum is so much necessary raw material,
but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant
and for the soul of the child.
- Carl Jung

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never
be disappointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way
people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when the person looks back -
and at some point everyone look back -
she will hear her heart, saying,
"What have you done with the miracles
that God planted in your days?
What have you done with the talents
God bestowed on you?"
- Paulo Coelho

I am trying to own my own opinions
and offer what I know as an option,
just as I would present a tray of appetizers for my guests.
Here are several choices that I have created -
if one looks good you are welcome to take it.
In other words, I am training myself to say,
"May I tell you how it is for me?"
When I ask the question, it means waiting
for the invitation to share.
It also means being prepared for my friend to say,
"No." They don't want to know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

See beauty in those unexpected places.
(she asked herself how people could let Bach be background noise.)
See the opportunity in what looks like inconvenience.
(she steered clear of the traffic jam
and went to the bakery she's been meaning to stop at.)
She embraces the undeclared possibility
in what seems like just another ordinary day.
(her friend is scheduled for cancer surgery
and suddenly everything around her seems so very precious.)
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The witnessing soul is like the sky.
The birds fly in the sky but they don't leave any footprints.
That's what Buddha says, that the man who is awakened
lives in such a way that he leaves no footprints.
He is without wounds and without scars; he never looks back -
there is no point. He has lived that moment so totally
that what is the need to look back again and again?
He never looks ahead, he never looks back, he lives in the moment.
- Osho

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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