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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Bowling

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin;
what else does a man need to be happy?
- Albert Einstein

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
- Lao Tzu

We all tend to measure our worth by what we DO -
the actions we take.
We also highly value what we SAY.
However, the greatest impact we have
on our family, our friends,
and our world is our kindness and love.
A bowl of soup served with love
is a greater gift than a steak dinner served brusquely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.