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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Binding

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Do not allow obligation or immediacy to
bind you to physical things or specific actions.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We may consider each generation as a distinct nation,
with a right, by the will of its majority,
to bind themselves, but none to
bind the succeeding generation,
more than the inhabitants of another country.
- Thomas Jefferson

With Malice toward none, with charity for all,
with firmness in the right,
as God gives us to see the right,
let us strive on to finish the work we are in,
to bind up the nation's wounds.
- Abraham Lincoln

Choose the whole of your environment, things and events,
based upon the value, meaning and function they hold.
Do not allow obligation or immediacy
to bind you to physical things or specific actions.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul.
- Henry Van Dyke

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.