Funny Quotes about Attainment

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust.
Service brings satisfaction.
Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.
- James Cash Penney

Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Seeing my glass of life as mostly full
triggers an amazing cycle of transformation
Appreciation for the abundance of life incites gratitude -
which brings on that warm comfortable
feeling of joy and satisfaction with life.
Gratitude for abundance also creates increasing abundance.
Being truly grateful for the abundance that
is now in my life causes an ever greater abundance
to flow in my direction.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Attainment

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