Funny Quotes about Assess

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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