Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped,
probably arboreal in its habits.
- Charles Darwin
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.