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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Agitate

A reporter is always concerned with tomorrow.
There's nothing tangible of yesterday.
All I can say I've done is
agitate the air ten or fifteen minutes
and then boom - it's gone.
- Edward R. Murrow

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci

It is not enough to have a good mind,
the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes

Have the will to be well, to be happy, and to live in joy.
- Ernest Holmes

When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin

We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus

How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu

The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin

Treat the earth well,
It was not given to you by your parents,
It was loaned to you by your children.
- Native American Proverb

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

So confident am I in the intentions,
as well as wisdom, of the government,
that I shall always be satisfied that what is not done,
either cannot, or ought not to be done.
- Thomas Jefferson

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The interests of a nation, when well understood,
will be found to coincide with their moral duties.
- Thomas Jefferson

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Doing well is the result of doing good.
That's what capitalism is all about.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.
- Henry David Thoreau

Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are defined by your habits - choose well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.
- John Muir

Life is not about how fast you run
or how high you climb
but how well you bounce.
- Vivian Komori

If you can't explain it simply,
you don't understand it well enough.
- Albert Einstein

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau

All's well that ends well.
- Proverb (and title of a Shakespeare play)

There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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