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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Advertising

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

If you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language,
that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

There are only four questions of value in life...
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for,
and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same: only love.
- Johnny Depp as Don Juan in the movie Don Juan De Marco

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey

The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The greatest and most important problems of life
are all fundamentally insoluble.
They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Carl Jung

The most important outcome of education
is to help students become independent of formal education.
- Paul E. Gray

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm so glad I never feel important, it does complicate life!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember that nurturing yourself is as important
(if not more so) as nurturing others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It's fine to celebrate success
but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
- Bill Gates

Sometimes, our family's most important job
is reminding us how unimportant we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nearly everything you do is of no importance,
but it is important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else
is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Believe in yourself. Dream big dreams.
Set important goals. Take action on those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson

Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Today, I Do What Is Important To Me, First.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain.
To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid.
- Carlos Castaneda

Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth,
and that is that no instruction book came with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you
to reach the heights of your capabilities
or make the money that you want
without becoming very good at it.
- Brian Tracy

It is far more important to be able to hit the target
than it is to haggle over who makes a weapon or who pulls a trigger.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all.
- Dale Carnegie

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe

Confidence is the most important thing,
more important than gold or currency.
- Wen Jiabao

Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a fine thing to be honest,
but it is also very important to be right.
- Winston Churchill

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is not what we choose that is important;
it is the reason we choose it.
- Carolyn Myss

Be alert. The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The truth is more important than the facts.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks,
that we concentrate only
on what is most significant and important.
- Soren Kierkegaard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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