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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Absurdities

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau

In choosing joy, the finish line dissolves
into a different matter altogether.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

With Malice toward none, with charity for all,
with firmness in the right,
as God gives us to see the right,
let us strive on to finish the work we are in,
to bind up the nation's wounds.
- Abraham Lincoln

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lovers embrace that which is between them
rather than each other.
- Khalil Gibran

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

Death is no more than passing from one room into another.
But there's a difference for me, you know.
Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
- Helen Keller

The best relationship is one in which
your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
- Anonymous

All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor

"Pride" is such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A hero may or may not lead other people,
but all heroes lead themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

What do we live for, if it is not
to make life less difficult for each other?
- George Eliot

Don't live your life to please other people.
- Oprah Winfrey

Let us always meet each other with a smile,
for the smile is the beginning of love.
- Mother Teresa

Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb

O Day of days when we can read!
The reader and the book, either without the other is naught.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We gather today in gratitude for the bounty of the land,
the joyful company around this table,
and all the other blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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