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Funny Quotes about 1899

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal

Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

For everything observed or experienced,
each of us creates a "story" - not sometimes, but always.
A "story" is the fiction a person tells themselves
about what has happened or is happening.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything that can be counted
does not necessarily count;
everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.
- Albert Einstein

Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone
and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha

Know nothing. For to know nothing is to know everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Providence has its appointed hour for everything.
We cannot command results, we can only strive.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The environment is everything that isn't me.
- Albert Einstein

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith

Everything is okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
- Anonymous

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

You can't be everything to everyone.
- Bill Cosby

Everything in Nature contains all the powers of Nature.
Everything is made of one hidden stuff.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is hard to interest those who have everything,
in those who have nothing.
- Helen Keller

Everything has it's own time and place.
Transformation becomes effortless when we go with the flow.
- Shelli Thompson

When you expect nothing, you can
receive everything as a marvelous gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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