If you think you can,
or you think you can't,
you're probably right.
- Henry Ford
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford 
Life is a series of experiences,
each one of which makes us bigger,
even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
- Henry Ford
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford
Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford
There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford
Whether you think you can,
or think you can't,
you're right.
- Henry Ford
Profit is a by-product of work;
happiness is its chief product.
- Henry Ford
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
Obstacles are those frightful things
you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
- Henry Ford
Failure is only the opportunity to
begin again more intelligently.
- Henry Ford
If everyone is moving forward together,
then success takes care of itself.
- Henry Ford
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.