You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Never forget the three powerful resources
you always have available to you:
love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.