Would you rather be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles 
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles
The world you see has nothing to do with reality.
It is of your own making and does not exist.
- A Course In Miracles
My happiness depends on me.
- A Course in Miracles
There are many answers you have received
but have not yet heard.
- A Course In Miracles
The ego lives by comparisons...
The ego cannot survive without judgment.
- A Course in Miracles
Seek not outside yourself.
- A Course in Miracles
Do you prefer that you be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles
Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)
Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles
You cannot be totally committed sometimes.
- A Course In Miracles
In your brother is The Light.
See him as sinless,
and there can be no fear in you.
- A Course In Miracles
When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.