If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Never forget the three powerful resources
you always have available to you:
love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.