You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie 
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Create happiness for others.
- Dale Carnegie
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
Don't Criticize, Condemn, Or Complain.
- Dale Carnegie
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie
Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all.
- Dale Carnegie
Count your blessings - not your troubles.
- Dale Carnegie
Instead of worrying about what people say of you,
why not spend time trying to accomplish
something they will admire.
- Dale Carnegie
Today is life - the only life you are sure of.
Make the most of today. Get interested in something.
Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby.
Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you.
Live today with gusto.
- Dale Carnegie
Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie
If only the people who worry about their liabilities
would think about the riches they do possess,
they would stop worrying.
- Dale Carnegie
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie
People rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are doing.
- Dale Carnegie
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie
When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie
Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie
Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie
There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie
Tell the audience what you're going to say,
say it;
then tell them what you've said.
- Dale Carnegie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.