If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare
True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi
No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman
True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.