Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone
by Samuel Johnson

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin -
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich

Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

The True Path is the path on which
there is no coming and no going.
- Traditional Zen Koan

A true friendship always feels safe and comfortable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True happiness... is not attained
through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Follow your instincts.
That's where true wisdom manifests itself.
- Oprah Winfrey

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

True justice is not a matter of courts and law books,
but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.
- Jimmy Carter

True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu

Intolerance is itself a form of violence
and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True friendship is a plant of slow growth.
- George Washington

True independence is not a gift to be received.
It can't be a hand-out to people.
It must be an achievement by the people.
- Jimmy Yen

Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.