Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
by Niels Bohr

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow

Our compassion and acts of selflessness
take us to the deeper truths.
- Amma

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw

Truths and roses have thorns about them.
- Henry David Thoreau

The personal life deeply lived
always expands into truths beyond itself.
- Anais Nin

Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman

We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that all men are created equal;
that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable rights;
that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just as a man would not cherish living
in a body other than his own,
so do nations not like to live under other nations,
however noble and great the latter may be.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

All difficult things have
their origin in that which is easy,
and great things in that which is small.
- Lao Tzu

It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson

Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu

A little neglect may breed great mischief.
- Benjamin Franklin

Love is the great miracle cure.
Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay

To be great is to be misunderstood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln

Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forgiving is not a gift to someone else.
Forgiving is your gift to yourself -
a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.