Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
by Sylvester Stallone

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step - large and small -
with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

I Act with Bold Courage:
Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step -
large and small - with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The biggest adventure you can take is
to live the life of your dreams.
- Oprah Winfrey

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
- Robert Browning

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

Persevere in moving toward highly worthwhile but difficult goals.
In smaller issues, take an easier course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Life is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take Action - Now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein

With courage, you will dare to take risks,
have the strength to be compassionate,
and the wisdom to be humble.
Courage is the foundation of integrity.
- Keshavan Nair

CHOOSE your future, and take ACTION -
be the hammer, not the nail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

Take charge of your life!
You are responsible to yourself - not to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

To travel is to take a journey into yourself.
- Danny Kaye

The Divine is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Set Goals - Take Action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We can let circumstances rule us,
or we can take charge and
rule our lives from within.
- Earl Nightingale

Take time to sharpen the saw.
- Steven Covey

We take care of the future best by taking care of the present now.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Let us all take more responsibility,
not only for ourselves and our families, but
for our communities and our country.
- William J. Clinton

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

Take Delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who is not courageous enough to take risks
will accomplish nothing in life.
- Muhammad Ali

Never take counsel of your fears.
- Andrew Jackson

I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau

Consider a new beginning with your family -
choose to take them less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take responsibility for your whole life -
regardless of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.