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A person who is nice to you,
by Dave Barry

A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
- Dave Barry

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry

Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung

An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau

A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner

A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous

The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis

Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe

Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison

The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

There is no goodness in attempting to coerce
another person into performing a good deed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

When you find peace within yourself,
you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
- Peace Pilgrim

The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates

The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver

Books! I dunno if I ever told you this,
but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

See God in every person, place, and thing,
and all will be well in your world.
- Louise L. Hay

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi

You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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