People who want to share their religious views with you by Dave Barry

People who want to share their religious views with you
by Dave Barry

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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People who want to share their religious views with youby Dave Barry

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People who want to share their religious views with you
by Dave Barry