Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

One way or another, we all have to find
by Joseph Campbell

One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
- Joseph Campbell

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
- Joseph Campbell

The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

When you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you
that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

When you follow your bliss... doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

Is the system going to flatten you out
and deny you your humanity,
or are you going to be able to make use of the system
to the attainment of human purposes?
- Joseph Campbell

Your life is the fruit of your own doing.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
- Joseph Campbell

God is Within You!
You yourself are the creator.
If you find that place within you
from which you brought this thing about,
you will be able to live with it and affirm it,
perhaps even enjoy it, as your life.
- Joseph Campbell

A hero is someone who has given his life to
something bigger than himself
or something other than himself.
- Joseph Campbell

God is a metaphor for that which transcends
all levels of intellectual thought.
It's as simple as that.
- Joseph Campbell

Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell

When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell

I don't have to have faith, I have experience.
- Joseph Campbell

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell

I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell

Love is a friendship set to music.
- Joseph Campbell

Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves
come when life seems most challenging.
- Joseph Campbell

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves
and our own self-preservation,
we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness.
- Joseph Campbell

When you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living.
When you can see that, you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid,
and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again.
- Joseph Campbell

Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.
- Joseph Campbell

We're so engaged in doing things
to achieve purposes of outer value
that we forget the inner value,
the rapture that is associated
with being alive, is what it is all about.
- Joseph Campbell

We must let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
- Joseph Campbell

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea.
It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience,
something that never has been and never could
have been experienced by anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.