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One of the secrets of life is that
by Lewis Carroll

One of the secrets of life is that
all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others.
- Lewis Carroll

Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

While the laughter of joy is in
full harmony with our deeper life,
the laughter of amusement
should be kept apart from it.
The danger is too great of thus learning
to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery,
and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.
- Lewis Carroll

There comes a pause, for human strength will not endure
to dance without cessation;
and everyone must reach the point at length of absolute prostration.
- Lewis Carroll

Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go round.
- Lewis Carroll

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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